This September, Seattle once again celebrates sketch comedy with the vaguely titled “Sketchfest Seattle 2015.” This will be the 108th edition of the esteemed “Sketch-tival Festival” (Writer’s Mid-Sentence Note: Yes, it has always been called that. Go AltaVista it.) and northwest comedy fans everywhere could not be more joyful-tival.
As alluded to above, the first “Sketchfest Seattle 2015” took place in 1907. For those of you too young and too old to remember, 1907 is best known for being the year after 1906. Once 1908 rolled around, it also gained fame as the more oft referred to “last year.”
In that historical year, a young inventor named Thaddeus Krumpmore was busy trying to put his stamp on American inventionotics. (Again, a true word. Go MetaCrawler it.) The problem Mr. Krumpmore kept running into was two-fold. First, he was a terrible inventor. His best ideas were showing people things that already existed and then uttering his legendary catch-phrase “Eh? Wouldn’t it be crackerjack if I invented this one?” His second and more pressing issue was that transportation had yet to exist and, being in the upper left corner wasteland on maps known as Washington, this meant that Thaddeus had no broad market to invent for.
Enter Lauren Larradue LaFontaine. This dashing bombshell was everything Thaddeus was not. A woman…
Anyway, Lauren was riding high on her success of inventing actual transportation. She had crafted an animal called “horses” (if you haven’t heard of them, they went extinct in 1954 being succeeded by a new equine breed called “Horses.” Capitalization is crucial in breathing life into new species.) which one could “ride” as they “traveled” to “other places.” She also invented “Sarcastic Air Quotes” which are still used to this day though rare.
Triple L, as she was never referred to, strode up to Thaddeus just as he was once again launched into the famed and sincere “Eh? Wouldn’t it be crackerjack if I invented this one?” quotation once more. However, Lauren mistook it for jest. A sketch if you will. She doubled over with laughter.
Thaddeus Krumpmore was hurt and confused at first as his innocent sincerity was behind every utterance of his soliloquy. His mood was not to remain darkened for long as Lauren uttered a sentence that would change his destiny forever.
“Undetermined age man, tell me. What is this form of comedy you have invented? ”
Invented! Thaddeus had actually invented something. Apparently. But quick, he must name his beautiful creation, patent it with the most original and thought provoking name that a person had ever named anything.
He looked at a drawing nearby.
It was a sketch.
He instantly stole the name and applied it to his form of comedy.
And since Lauren was an audience member, that did technically qualify it to be a festival.
“Sketchfest Seattle 2015 of 1907” was an instant hit and the event has only grown in stature since. The names Thaddeus Krumpmore and Lauren Larradue LaFontaine are known to every sketch comedian to ever grace the Seattle sketch comedy scene (blah blah blah, Lycos.). Without them, the event would not exist. Sketch comedy would not exist. To take it even a step further…
…Would be madness. This writer will not abide madness. The article is over.