By Amos Annan
If you read the internet, you know about listicles, but this one is better than the rest so get hyped. Every week we count down the top 7 in various categories about the great city of Seattle. This week we explore…
The Top 7 First Date Spots on a Budget
A first date has a lot of pressure attached, and you need the perfect environment to trick that special someone into seeing you again. While Seattle’s nightlife is full of great spots, not every bar or restaurant has the necessary ambiance and low price point to make an affordable first date lead to another. Fortunately, we’ve found the best destinations to further your pursuit of fornication and compiled them into this list!
Yeah, it might be very cheap, and yeah, it might not have an interior, and yeah, it might seem classless, but if you’re on a budget and your potential significant other isn’t a vegetarian, you can’t go wrong with a juicy deluxe and fries. Take a bag on a picnic in a park and get to know your person in the great outdoors!
6. Agua Verde
Waterfront! Tacos! Margaritas! Make your date think they’re in Mexico at this Wallingford eatery that boasts a full menu of Mexican-inspired delicacies. And, if you’re feeling adventurous, head out into the Montlake Cut on paddle boards you can rent right there. They can’t leave early if you’re out on the water! Because they won’t want to. It’s fun out there.
It may seem risky, but watching live comedy is a great way to get to know another person. You can discover what makes each other laugh, introduce alcohol to the situation, and have built in conversation topics as soon as the comics get off stage. Plus, watching sad clowns whine about their loneliness is a sure way to make them realize they don’t want to be alone forever and you are, at the very least, physically there.
4. Kerry Park
It’s just a park! You can do whatever you want there at no cost aside from the cost of whatever it is you choose to do. Play a board game, do some people watching, or enjoy the parks’ expansive view of the city at sunset and let it lull you into a reverie detailing the bright future the two of you can have together. But wake up quick, that daydream won’t come true if you don’t pay attention to everything they’re saying. And even if you do, it probably won’t. Daydreams are fantasies and fantasies aren’t reality. Never forget that.
Don’t go to a game, those are boring and expensive! Just take a tour of the stadium and let the Mariners’ rich history of failure and culture of depression remind you how sick you’ll feel once they realize how much better they can do than you and inevitably kick you to the curb. Is it worth the couple hours you’ll spend together? Probably not, but it can’t hurt any more to try than it would not to, right? Right? …Right.
2. Town Hall
For just $5, you can take in a lecture at town hall and bore them right from the start. Don’t bother trying hard to be entertaining, show them what life with you will really be like right off the bat because your heart is going to be broken no matter what. At least this way you can learn something and not completely waste yet another hour of your miserable life.
Because… fuck it.